And The World Tilted Sideways
by RainingYellowRoses
Summary: Hisoka and Tsuzuki fight, Tsuzuki can't take it anymore and breaks. Can anyone fix him? NOT Tsuzuki/Hisoka. Shigure/Tsuzuki, Muraki/Tsuzuki,some Yuki/Hisoka, past Tatsumi/Tsuzuki. rated for future lemons. rape, slight bondage, angst!, yaoi, lemons & limes
1. in which the world tiltes sideways

Disclaimer- I no own furuba or Yami no Matsuei

Enjoy and review!

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"Tsuzuki, Kurosaki-kun, I'm assigning you to a new case. You are to attend Kaibara High in the Kanto region. You will be investigating the Souma family. You are to leave immediately, understand?" Tatsumi was assigning us to a "safe" case again. When I saw "safe" I mean it has nothing to do with Muraki, in other words he's assigning Soka-chan and I to a case that has absolutely no chance of involving that bastard.

"—zuki? Tsuzuki!" Apparently I had been too lost in thought and forgot to pay attention…..again. I guess this is why everyone thinks I'm an idiot. I'm not actually an idiot—I just get lost in thought and don't pay attention. Though I probably contributed to it some, by playing myself off to be a lazy, innocent, dense, and sweets-obsessed idiot. I pretend to be that because it's safer, people tend to let their guard down when they think you can't hurt them.

I'm not a particularly manipulative person, but I do resort to manipulation if I have to in order to protect my friends—I'm a very loyal person. At first it may be hard to get to know me since my protective barrier is to annoy people, but once you know me—and I know you—I become very loyal.

Ah! I had forgotten to answer again! They were starting to get worried. Either that, or suspicious. "Ah! I'm sooooo sorry Tatsumi! I was remembering this really pretty cake that I saw when I and Soka-chan were on our way to work! It looked soooo good! I can just imagine how it must taste! It's got to be delicious! Tatsumi, can I—"

"No, we don't have money in the budget for that. Now get going, you need to be ready to go in 1 hour." One hour! I have to pack!!!!

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We had gotten here about 3 hours ago. We were having some trouble though. You see, Tatsumi had given us all the details on the case and told us everything we would need. But he had forgotten to get us a place to stay. Normally, we would just rent a hotel room or something, but Tatsumi had restricted the amount of money we had to use and Soka-chan refused to go over that amount.

"Soka-chaaaaaaaaaaan! There's nowhere to stay for that amount of money! Let's just go over budget, I always go over anyway!" I begged, clinging onto his sleeve and making myself a Chibified, puppy, Tsuzuki. After all, no one can resist the puppy eyes!! Mwahahaha!!

"No." ….or not. "You say that now but, later you're going to be asking to spend even MORE money on sweets and useless things no one needs! Then you're going to regret spending the money on a hotel because we will NOT, I repeat, NOT spend more than Tatsumi-san said." Was it me or was Soka getting to be more like Tatsumi every day?

"Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!" I whined. "You're becoming a mini-Tatsumi! Why!?!? I promise I won't buy sweets! I'll do whatever you want! I'll even sleep with Muraki so that he'll take the curse off you! Pretty Please?" I begged him. My legs were getting reaaaaally tired.

"What did you just say?!?!" Hisoka was screaming at me….I must have said something. I've been so tired lately; I haven't been able to keep track of what comes out of my mouth as well as usual. Think, think, what did you say……

"You'll sleep with Muraki?!?! What the hell is wrong without you?! You're acting really weird Tsuzuki. You've been spacing out a lot lately. You think I wouldn't notice?! I'm an EMPATH. I can feel what you feel. I don't know if you've always felt like this or if you've just been letting your barrier of fake happiness down more than usual lately, but I can feel it. I can feel this HORRIBLE feeling coming from you. It's like a mix of utter despair, loneliness, frustration, and so many other painful feelings even I can't decipher. This isn't you!" he paused for a few seconds.

As he had been talking I had moved back a few steps and my arms had become crossed. I think my face probably looked like a mixture of annoyance and guilt. Annoyance—at myself for letting him find out, and at him for finding out and blurting it to the whole freaking world. Guilt—for getting caught red-handed.

"Or is this you? Is this the real you? Has everything so far been fake? Have you just been using me? Is that what I am to you? A toy?! You are just like HIM!" he finished and ran off. Not giving me a chance to explain. But it wasn't only my fault; I had only slipped up a tiny bit. I could play this off as him over-reacting. I could say that I had offered to sleep with Muraki because I cared for him so much I would be willing to sacrifice myself—and that was true, wasn't it? I'd have to block out my true feelings and replace them with guilt and remorse. He'll believe that, I know he will.

"But is that what I want? I don't even know myself anymore" I mumbled. I had walked over to a tree and was half-collapsed on it. I'm sure I looked like I was about to cry. My chest was heaving, it was getting harder and harder to breathe, tears were blurring my vision; threatening to fall.

Everything was warm all of a sudden; a comforting presence had wrapped itself around me. I felt content, calm. I sagged into the embrace, almost collapsing into the person. "Tatsumi, I messed up. Soka-chan thinks I used him! I swear I didn't, not this time! I wasn't lying either. I really would have slept with Muraki for him; I would have, to get rid of Soka's curse... And I'm not saying it for selfish reasons! ….Tat-chan help me…I don't even know who I am anymore…" I was clutching his shirt like it was a lifeline. His shirt was probably damp by now. I felt safe with Tatsumi; I could let down my barriers with him.

"What curse are you referring to, and who's Tatsumi?" A voice that DEFINITELY didn't belong to Tatsumi answered. I froze, jumping out of his arms. I had just said all that….to a complete stranger! I backed up until I hit the tree I had been leaning on earlier. My emotions retreating inside myself once again; my happy-go-lucky, innocent mask back in place. "Ah! Gomen! I didn't realize, I'm SO sorry! Ah! I got your shirt all wet! I'm sorry, I have to go now, you see my partner ran off and I have to go find him and then convince him to let us rent a hotel room. Baka Tatsumi restricted the amount of money I spend and now we have no money! So anyway, I got to go now! Bye!" I had quickly turned into chibified puppy Tsuzuki again.

I turned to leave but the stranger grabbed my arm and swung me back around, the momentum of the swing throwing me into him. "Ah!" I exclaimed, surprised. Usually that worked….

"Souma Shigure, and you and your partner are welcome to stay at my house." He introduced himself. This really wasn't going well, I had to get out of there, he had seen the broken me. "No really, I couldn't impose! Thanks anyway~" I tried, hoping he'd let me go.

"It really wouldn't be a bother, I have a large house. There's no catch, I promise." I was tempted to believe him but I saw those eyes—they were what my eyes would look like if I had lived a normal life. A life without Muraki, without my demon blood, without the childhood I had been forced to live through, the experiments i had been put through. I was about to decline again when suddenly—

"Hah, I guess it's true. What Muraki said I mean; about you being a manipulative whore. I bet you even manipulated this poor man right here, what'd you do? Promise him sex in exchange for lodgings? Well, I guess I won't complain since it saves money. As long as I don't have to hear your screams at night when he's fucking you into the floor, or door, or wherever; and I don't want to see any blood stains if he turns out to be sadistic in bed." it was Hisoka…he was really mad at me.

It hurt, he and Tatsumi were the only ones I had, they were everything, and he hated me. He must have picked up on what I was thinking because he suddenly changed from looking smugly at Souma-san to glaring daggers at me. It was as if he were trying to kill me with looks alone."Hisoka….about what I said before—"

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! Just shut the fuck up! I don't need to hear any more lies coming from that cock-sucking whore mouth! I'll complete this assignment and then I'm done. I'm leaving you; go find yourself a new partner!"

I had been keeping my emotions off my face, alternating between a calm, calculating face and the chibi-puppy face depending on what was being said. But hearing that, I think I just broke. All emotion left my face, ALL of it. I had been learning to love again; learning to believe. The emotions Hisoka had felt from me before—the utter despair, loneliness, frustration, all of it—had been slowly leaving me. I had been slowly edging away from the cliff. But now, now I took a running leap and jumped off.

While Hisoka and I had been talking Souma-san had been calmly standing by, watching, and evaluating the situation. I think he realized I had been at my weakest point, that I could only take so much, and that whatever had happened up until now had pushed my right up to the cliff. I think he realized that had I lead an easier life I would be like him, realized that I was what he would have been at his weakest point. I think he realized that I had finally, finally jumped off.

He was looking at me very seriously, and all the while Hisoka was STILL screaming at me. He was calling me a whore, a manipulator, a bastard; he called me all these words I didn't even know he had known. It hurt, or at least it would have if I hadn't shut down.

"Hisoka. Stop whining. This world doesn't revolve around you. We all know Muraki raped, we all know your parents put you in a cage because they were afraid of you. I realize that that had to have been horrible, but there ARE worse things. I'm tired of hearing it. I have only ever helped you. I took care of you, stayed with you when no one else could—or would—I did things for you that you couldn't even imagine; and this is the thanks I get? You constantly yell at me, demean me. You hit me all the time; hurt me sometimes to the point I have to go to Tatsumi. Then you turn around and expect me to be fine? To except it all, to be a happy-go-lucky person who doesn't care about anything as long as you feed him sweets? You're constantly telling me I'm an idiot, useless, slut, whore, bastard, innocent, naïve, whiny. But Hisoka, who really fits that description more?"

I was surprised I got that all out, it's rare for me to show how I feel, but putting it into worded form? Incredible. But now, now I was tired. So tired, so very tired..."so tired…`o tir`d…" and suddenly the word went black and I collapsed.

TBC

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Review please!


	2. in which blood is flowing

Yay! Chapter 2~

Disclaimer: I no own YnM or Furuba

Warnings—lots of angst, cutting/self-harm

Shigure's POV

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"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyaaaaaaaaaaaa!" What a wonderful way to wake up thought sarcastically. That must have been Tohru, probably realizing that she hadn't made enough dinner for 2 extra guests. I had offered to let them—Tsuzuki and Kurosaki—stay in my house. Once Tsuzuki fainted from exhaustion we, the boy and I, brought him to my house. The two had reminded me of Yuki and I; and I wanted to see how this would turn out.

The boy who acted like Yuki needed an attitude adjustment. He needed to learn how to consider others. The man, Tsuzuki was just plain broken. He tried to hide it behind an innocent, naïve, happy-go-lucky mask. He couldn't convince me though. I think I saw it because I did the same thing. The largest difference between us was that I was cracked—I needed to be glued back together –but he was broken, into thousands of pieces. I don't think even Tsuzuki himself had realized it until today.

I had a strange urge to be the one to put him back together, which was weird because I was usually the one doing the breaking. But this man, I wanted to help him. Maybe it was to prove to myself that I could never be true broke; and I saw him as me.

I decided now was probably a good time to go check on him and tell him dinner would be ready soon. I got up and walked to my room. I was about to open the door when I heard it. It was a soft whimpering sound; there was a mix of crying and gasping to. It was a gut-wrenching sound. I slowly opened the door, peeking in. I searched the room, trying to spot the crying purple-eyed man. There were some suspicious looking red stains leading into the bathroom…

I tried opening the door to find it locked. "Tsuzuki, I think you should let me in. This isn't going to help you. Cutting yourself won't make the pain go away. Maybe it'll disappear for a few seconds, but it'll come back ten-fold. Please let me in." I tried negotiating with him. Hopefully that would be good enough.

"Ah! Souma-san! I didn't know you were here! Ano, I wasn't cutting. It's just that there was these scissors and they somehow ended up jabbed in my wrist. I don't know, maybe they hate me or something." That…that was a very pathetic lie, I would have expected better. If he really expected that to work then he must be so broken doesn't even care anymore.

"Tsuzuki, you can't lie to me. Don't even try. I realize that normally you're probably very good at it, lying and manipulating, I mean. But right now…right now you're broken and I can read you. Easily. "He still wouldn't unlock the door. In fact, this time he didn't even answer me. This was getting annoying.

I figured this wouldn't go anywhere so I went and got the key—yes, we had keys. I opened the door and looked around the bathroom. Ah! There, he was balled up in a few blankets, curled up against the sink. There was blood pooling around him and there were tear tracks running down his face. I stared at him for a few seconds thinking of what the best possible solution to this situation was.

I got down and slowly scooted closer, not wanting to scare him off, my plans would be ruined if he didn't trust me. Once I got close enough to him I leaned over and wrapped my arms around him, enveloping him in a hug. He stiffened for moment before relaxing and crying into my shoulder, this must be a rare moment for him. I suspect that he, like me, didn't like to show weakness.

Once he finally calmed down I grabbed his wrist, inspecting it. I could see a bunch of old wounds but none recent up until what he had done today. So, he used to cut, stopped, and now has started again. I sighed; this wasn't going to be easy was it?

I sat with him until he finally stopped crying. I was about to get up when I realized he had cried himself to sleep. Well, I could skip dinner tonight; I'll just get a midnight snack or something. I picked him up and carried him to my bed, putting him under the covers and getting in with him.

I'd try talking to him tomorrow.

TBC

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IMPORTANT!!!!

Authors note: Hmmm…I apologize, but I don't really like where this is going. This might not get updated again in a while and then again I might update tomorrow. We'll see what happens, ne? Well then, check out my others fics, I'm going to try writing another Shigure/Tsuzuki story. Hopefully that one will go the way I want it. Thanks.


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